Thursday, April 07, 2005

Quiznos reminds me of Smuckers

You have to be pretty old to remember this, but I am, so I do!

"Smuckers" has this long-running ad tagline where they say, "With a name like Smuckers, it has to be good!" "Saturday Night Live" once did a parody of that in which the announcer said, "With a name like "Painful Rectal Itch," it has to be good!"

So let's talk about Quiznos. So far their ad campaigns have featured dead rats playing the guitar, and a creepy-looking baby whose lips are manipulated to make it look like he's talking. I can only speculate but maybe, like Smuckers, they think that their products are SO GOOD, it doesn't matter HOW ugly their name, or their ads, are - they'll still rake in the customers.

In that spirit, I'd like to offer some suggestions for their NEXT ad campaign. Why not a talking hemorrhoid? The decapitated head of an Iraqi hostage? Or maybe even John Kerry? They could use anything - because with a name like Quiznos, it's got to be good!